• Light travels faster than the speed of sound. That's why people often appear brighter before they speak!

  • He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met." —Abraham Lincoln

  • How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?

  • In my many years I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress - John Adams

  • Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. . . Cullen Hightower

  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ~Author Unknown

  • How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? ~Nigel Rees

  • He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs. ~Torvald Gahlin

  • “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ~ Oscar Wilde

  • Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? . . Calvin & Hobbes

  • "It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." . .Calvin & Hobbes

  • Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.. . Gallagher

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