Memories . . .

I never cry, but here I am;

Sitting . . .
Surprised . . .
tears filling my eyes,
threatening to spill down my cheeks.

Why?

A small crop-duster plane just flew by outside my window. 

That's weird, you say!
Why would an airplane cause someone to cry?

In grief and loss, we never know when something -
     a sound
     a smell
     a picture
     or anything - will trigger a memory. 

It just suddenly overwhelms and engulfs us with deep sadness,

unannounced,

unpredictably,
rudely
with no warning. 

And  - I was immediately overwhelmed with a deep sadness,

. . . . then all these memories started to flow over me. 

LOTS of bittersweet memories.

Bitter, because he died.
Sweet, because he lived. 

The Day(s) that changed my life forever.

 Last week I read a blog from a lady who had just been diagnosed with diabetes. 
She titled her entry: "The Day My Life Changed".   She then went on to describe (complain) how much her life was going to change - the diet, the lifestle, the constant monitoring of her blood sugar, etc, etc. 

It made me STOP!  I mean . . . is diabetes the WORST that could happen? 
Really now! 
Wasn't  she being a little melodramatic here?

After thinking about it for awhile I decided
No . . . it isn't and she wasn't

She made me realize that all of us face joy, disappointments, sorrow, obstacles,

and victories that "change our lives forever". 

More importantly, I realized it happens often throughout our lives.

Maybe even daily!
Think about it. 

We all have traveled a road we did not ask for.
Our lives have zigged when we thought it should have zagged. 
Or maybe it even zigged when we wanted it to zig. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO TODAY - SEPTEMBER 2, 2009.

40 years ago TODAY at about 4:30 pm my life was changed forever!!

I became a mother!! 

A precious beautiful son entered my life.
You've never seen such a cute baby - ever! 
Well . . . . except for my daughter.
And I'm not even the prejudicial kind.
Not one iota!

Fear Exposed

I discovered something rather pathetic about myself today. 

I’m afraid to go outside the house unless Marvin, Jeremy, or someone I know is out there.  I’m even afraid to be next to the house mowing the yard because I can not hear any vehicles coming down the road from either way. 

I’m a prisoner in my own house!

And . . . . . . I don’t even like my house.

HELP! 

I’m trapped and I can’t get out!