Memories . . .

I never cry, but here I am;

Sitting . . .
Surprised . . .
tears filling my eyes,
threatening to spill down my cheeks.

Why?

A small crop-duster plane just flew by outside my window. 

That's weird, you say!
Why would an airplane cause someone to cry?

In grief and loss, we never know when something -
     a sound
     a smell
     a picture
     or anything - will trigger a memory. 

It just suddenly overwhelms and engulfs us with deep sadness,

unannounced,

unpredictably,
rudely
with no warning. 

And  - I was immediately overwhelmed with a deep sadness,

. . . . then all these memories started to flow over me. 

LOTS of bittersweet memories.

Bitter, because he died.
Sweet, because he lived. 

Helicopters & a touch of anger on the road. .

THE HELICOPTER:  This morning as I was leaving for work, I heard a helicopter going over. 

Instead of recoiling with fear - as I have in the past due to my personal experience(s) with helicopters,  I ran out into the middle of the driveway to see if I could see it - - Just like in the old days.  Without even thinking about it. 

Two choppers flew straight over our house.  They were beautiful.   I'm healing more every day.  Thank you, Lord, for the little itty bitty steps that even I can see.

ANGER ON THE ROAD: On my way to work, I had a car run a stop sign and pull out in front of me. 

It was a wide-open intersection. 

You can see for a mile from there. 

In EVERY direction!!

What was the idiot thinking?? 

He never did get up to the speed limit and I could never pass him. 

I was furious.