Saturday, November 13, 2010

the Journey

Another hill taken today
Another barricade removed!.

Today is the 5th year anniversary of a vicious attack on my husband.
He was stabbed 3 times by a poacher and left for dead.

Someone thought deer antlers were more important than someone's life!

Today is also the opening day of pheasant season - just as it was 5 years ago. 

Even before the attack, I would stay home on this week-end to help Marvin
and to make sure hunters stayed out of our yard and out of our buildings. 

A few weeks ago, I promised my friend, Penny,  that I would help her
when the crew from the Covenant Church came to redo her roof. 

My mistake was that I promised . . . not knowing the date. 

This morning I was so angry that the crew chose November 13th.  
I almost backed out and was thinking of calling to say so.  
But - I was preempted. 
Penny called ME first to make sure I was coming. 
I think she had an inkling of my emotional state.

How could I say "NO" to a friend who has helped me actually walk
out into my yard again?

Who had helped me reclaim part of my life? 

Who drove 18 miles (one way) to my house 2 years ago and said:
 "OK Janet, TODAY we're taking a walk around the house",
and then went with me (for the 1st time in 4 years) as I wandered around
 outdoors in my own yard.  

A yard that used to be my prize and joy, but due to overwhelming fear had
become a terrifying and frightening place. 
I had to go.  There was no choice.   
But why did they have to chose this Saturday?
Why not last Saturday or this next Saturday?
Why the dreaded November 13th Saturday?

I sent a quick e-mail off to some friends asking for prayer. 
I called my parents to ask for prayer because I was so frightened -
NO ANSWER.!  (Why can't they stay home when they're supposed to be home?)   
Didn't they know I needed them?  

I sent an e-mail off to all my friends and family
saying that I was afraid to go, but was going. 
But no responses and no relief in my anxiety. 
My anxiety of leaving Marvin home alone
The fear that something terrible would happen while I was gone.

I dressed
Got in the car
Drove 16 miles. 

And then the miracle happened!!
God didn't send me a frog (Fully Rely On God) as he has in the past. 
He sent an EAGLE!
A beautiful bald eagle. 
Soaring above the Republican River as I approached town. 

I laughed. 
I felt relief. 
God is definitely in control.
God definitely has a sense of humor. 
And once again, I'm humbled and ashamed that I HAD to be reminded.
Reminded AGAIN!

The significance is that on August 21, 2009, I had written in my journal asking
God if I could move from FROGs to Eagles. 
I wanted to be able to face my fears;
rise above them and feel the exhilarating wind in my face
and feel the blowing of my hair, 
to be as free as an Eagle in flight.

It's amazing! 
The fact that the work crew chose Nov 13th is no longer lost on me.
It wasn't a mistake. 

It was a God thing, of course. 
Intervening in my life AGAIN to force me out of my zone of overwhelming fear. 
Using Penny AGAIN, unbeknownst to her,  as His instrument

It was an awesome day.
I returned home upbeat and relaxed.

Guess what?
Marvin was just fine. 
No problems.

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